Boredom

It comes and goes, but mainly stays. I am at this job for three reasons: 1) further my teaching education, 2) beef up on my research, 3) sharpen my clinical skills

I will start with my clinical skills. They are as dull as they ever have been before. I can see things slipping away. names of meds, tests, and procedures. I still have my suave charm with patients and nurses, but that is not a learned thing. That is a practiced art. I try from time to time to sharpen my skills but they have me barely working. I have requested twice to have more challenging cases thrown my way but this was ignored. Maybe it is impossible to get me to see more challenging cases, but i feel like there was never an attempt made at it. when i start my new position i will have to start sharp and focused. I need to come on the scene like gangbusters! I will be alright as long as i get started.

My research is a joke. To undertake a huge project in one year was too much to swallow. I am lucky that the HIT thing took off like it did. The other stuff was just shit. Walker's stuff was not going to include me anyway, and Shah dismissed me as a nothing. oh well. even the LVH thing took tool long to develop. Half the year went by without a single lead working out for me. I wish to leave the research up to the researchers. It is not for me.

As for the teaching... this is the thorn in my side. Firstly i feel as though i am teaching foreigners to become americans instead of students into doctors. ridiculous. Secondly i have only this year to show for my efforts. I wanted some form of degree. I asked twice for something to show for my efforts. this was also ignored. I was told that this on my resume would be enough. bullshit.

I cannot wait to leave. at this moment it will be 10 weeks. I cannot wait.