Correct Justice.

Late in the morning. I am tired now. It seems at times that these nights are taking a toll on me. I feel aged. I feel worn. Sometimes i don't want to come here to work. It's as if the motivations that i used to get me here have been spent out. They have been spent in paperwork, busy-work, dirty work, shit work, so on and so forth.

I just wait. I sit. I try to be patient, but sometimes i want to explode with action. I want to move toward the end of the game instead of feeling like just started it.

As a doctor i think we all have to deal with gaps of knowledge. They can be filled in. They can fill in the areas where there are strongholds of information...

I think for myself i want to know too much. I want to know everything. I want too much and i want everything.

I feel like i am having to always sit and wait my turn. Why do i always think that i can do things better than those around me? Why should i always be right? Do i have some weird foresight that no others have? Why is my thinking correct? Is it that i can convince myself that i am in the right?

If i truly believe that i am better/supreme/correct/just, then why do i have to wait. Why can i not take what i want right now?

What is it that i want? Good question...

Rising Hands

I am at work again. The items that come back to me are of the greatest and the least concerns for me right now. One the one hand i feel very lucky to have met her. To know her. To talk to her and to have her with me. Then on a completely different point of view i am not happy.

work sucks. I am represented by a joke. A human humor. A pakistani cartoon. I am surrounded by the fat, the stupid, and the insane. This is not what i signed up for. I work under the shadows of a chica from the block... what has happened to my beloved corps? Why have so many changes come about with such unstable results? where is the balance?

Back to the first hand. I travel. i cannot wait for Germany, and i am in the future beyond that also planning another adventure. By switching my comrades each adventure is unique to me. It is expensive, but i can afford it. Additionally i have the time to take.

Second hand information was spread about the ranks involving me. Always second hand applications. Always from second rate people. People so engrossed in their own refuse that they paint others' lives in thier own filth. things that i have not done, or that were my exagerated actions, were spoken about me. Lies stewing in a pot of falsities. Some twisted and manipulated to make me look bad, whilst they looked better. Others are just plain wrong.

I am able to rise above. I am better than they for certain. Personality, looks, strengths... hell, even my weaknesses are better than theirs. i float above them head and shoulders. I seek new knowledge. Always new knowledge. More knowledge to float above the mass. The creatures of the diseased.