To be in the moment

I need to learn this. I am at work now. It is nearly over. I am finishing a week of nights and i am worried. What am i worried about? Why do i have to have some sort of plan?

It helps give me closure. It helps me assign priority to my life. It allows me to keep long range and short term goals seperate. It allows me a structure to work within. it gives me function to work with...

However, this unending concern needs to become clarified. I need to live in the moment. I need to be in the moment for my own sake. so, i am in this situation or relationship and i want to know the status of it. She seems to be happy just knowing that we are together, but doesn't want me to really get any closer to her. Maybe that is my perception only. She seems to be fearful of what a relationship with someone of my caliber could be like. I "exceed" her expectations for a man thus far. She tells me that she "basically loves" me, and that she "adores" me...

Why am i so eager to divulge to her everything to her. Why am i so ready? Am i lonely? needy? do i need to have this sharing of information or is it just simply something that i want?

the other question is: do i back off? The main reason would be because i am feeling so very vulnerable at this time. And to feel this vulnerable is a weakness. If she were to walk away from me now i would be immensely hurt for a long time. The next question of course would be: why would she walk away? She would not have a major reason at this time, but if i keep worrying about it i might have another self-fulfilling prophecy on my hands.

stay positive. stay active. do your thing. be patient, and do what you want. Try to be in the moment while the moment is here. enjoy it. don't look too much into the past and try to only have an idea for the future. you are here now. here. not in the past, and not in future yet. Control the present. That will allow you to own the past and determine the future.