One too many mornings

I think i've seen one too many mornings. The sun rises, and i see it from the night, or i see it when i wake. But i think i've seen one too many. I make coffee to open my eyes and wipe the sleep away. That's a morning. I take another drink to make the pain go away. Is that another morning? I take another pull, snort another line, slut myself away... or those mornings? One more time and i'll start my day. One more attempt to hold on to the comfort of what was. Those are all too many mornings to remember.
Think of all of the people that you've hurt in your life. The people that you let down because you didn't try hard enough. Think about the people you walked away from because the work was too hard. Think about all of the times that you should have said the right thing, or even anything and you didn't. Think of all of those failures. Think of all of those let downs. Now think of all of the times you wanted to start over, but couldn't. Think of all of the "brand new days" that should've sparked change. Most didn't. Those mornings are gone. In fact they never existed. Especially if you've repeated your failures.
When we catch ourselves making mistakes how do we feel? Do we think we'll get another shot? Do we feel guilt? Anger? How many times can we have those feelings? Life passes us by while we state that we will change. It drives down the road, while we make false promises to ourselves. Life doesn't wait for us... It is up to us to develop ourselves, and adapt to living.
To open your eyes to a new start is exhilirating. It expands our hearts and our minds. If only i could erase my mistakes, then i wouldn't be so afraid of one more morning of change.