Theories and Rules

So, as i float from relationship to relationship i realize that many of the things that i once looked for or adored in women do not carry any wind into my sails anymore. There was a time in my life when i felt that women were better then me. There was always a pedestal that had to be surmounted in order to even get to know one. Women were like these extra-terrestrial creatures that didn't live in the same world as me. After gathering courage and esteem i tried over and over to get girls to notice me and like me. They just never seemed to like me the way that i wanted to be liked. I made lots of friends though. But then somewhere along the line i became a dick. I started seeing women as inferior to me. There was still a pedestal but they would have to surmount it! This didn't last very long. For one thing i didn't quite like being that way. I was also attracting the wrong kinds of people.

So, I gave up! That's when it happened. I met her. Things were great but...
Well, you know, you've all been there. It has helped me to realize that as i meet strange women and pursue different relationships that there needs to be two key components to them:
Compatibility and Chemistry.
Chemistry is the lust. It's the desire it's the curiousity and want for the other person. This can be confusing. Many of us have wanted something soooo bad that after we've gotten it we don't want it anymore. Well, chemistry is that first look or that first time you notice someone. It's that time when you realize I could be with this person. All of these little epiphanies are great for the start-up time. And they are needed throughout the ENTIRE course of the relationship. But...
Chemistry rests on the shoulders of something stronger than itself; compatibility. Men and women need to be compatible with each other. This doesn't mean that they watch the same tv shows (although this might help). It means that they can communicate well with one another in their own way. They can trust each other and most importantly they can respect each other.
Think about it. If you lie to someone that you have sex with is there respect? No. You have amazing chemistry maybe but how could you be compatible? The same dilema goes for the couple that talks for hours on end and then goes to sleep. Where is the contact? Where did the chemistry go?
A couple that meets with chemistry alone must work on being more compatible and vice versa. How often have "friends" gotten together only to realize that they are more compatible with each other than anything else? How often has that scandal happened where two people cannot get enough of each other but can't even talk to each other on the same level afterwards.

Where am i going with this? I don't know... What i do know is that i am gonna keep an eagle eye out for that right person. I'll look for that C & C and avoid the freakishly weird!
Danny
"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."

--Helen Rowland (1875-1950) American journalist and humorist.